I have always been determined, zealous and a go getter.
I ran marathons, broke personal records, won awards, and qualified for Boston.
I attacked new countries, cultures and languages with zesto, considering everything move a welcome challenge.
I’ve been energetic, full of grit….untill I moved to California 2 ½ years ago.
Slowly the wind was knocked out of me.
My kids moved on with their lives, made their own choices, not all of which I approved of.
I’m at ‘that’ age as well as having my thyroid removed.
I am not really sure what happened but I am tired and it takes so much more effort now than it used to. I vacillate between being excited and determined to follow God’s leading in ministry, and feeling tired. On those days, pulling the covers over my head and hiding in the sheets seems the best option.
Yet, “I will press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:14) Because of God’s grace, I have been saved and have an eternal home. Because of the grace He bestows on me daily, I can press on; living each day for Christ and serving Him without growing weary.
everything I've read in your writing tells me you still have plenty of grit, maybe it just comes out in your words, your beautiful stories, instead of only in the ways it did then. keep pressing on!
ReplyDeleteI have been feeling the same way!! At least with the tiredness part...I think we may both need a blood test and more thyroid medicine!
ReplyDeleteThank you Shanda. I totally relate. Except I'm at the point I'm dreaming of the kids being grown up. Will the day come when I'm not getting poop flicked on me from cleaning up the nasiness off the floor? Will there be a day when a whole day goes by without whining? Right now in life I find myself often having to look to the Lord for strength since I feel like a lot of my responsibilites are functioning out of weakness instead of strengths. And I wonder, God, this is crazy, is this really what you want? And I have to press into the Lord for Him to show me once again that His grace is sufficient. So, that's a long comment... But what I really mean is thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I've had glad my thyroid out... Crazy.
ReplyDeleteYour vulnerability here is stunning and powerful! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful for the little bit of grit and lots of grace in my life.
ReplyDeletelove your honesty. My sweet sister is five years older than I am and she always tells me to learn from all her "stuff" she's going through at 47 because it's just around the corner for me. It helps to have community, honesty and shared experiences to get us through the storms and the doldrums alike!
ReplyDeleteSuch a truthful post, bless you.
ReplyDeleteI can relate, Shanda. There are things I want/need to do, but I'm so tired.
ReplyDeleteKeeping on when you're dragging = Sounds like grit to me! That tiredness may actually diminish with time (and vitamins?). But, I'm learning that "ministry" has many different forms from what I once supposed. God bless you, Shanda!
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of the mouse! I'm also dragging my feet at the moment - in the last two weeks of pregnancy so I totally get your pressing on analogy.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Shanda. We need Him. And it's so apparent when we are going through seasons like the one you describe so well above.
ReplyDeleteI am in a similar season ... trying hard to listen to God. I pray you find joy, even in the tiredness and transition, my sweet TCK friend.
ReplyDeleteFondly,
Glenda
Your honesty is what makes you so REAL. Thank you for your vulnerable words. I cannot wait to have you here so you can REST....and be fed - both spiritually and physically for a little bit. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteOh, you've still got it. I can see it in your writing! Thank you for sharing from your heart. It blessed me...
ReplyDeleteSometimes "Pausing on the Path" takes as much determination and grit as crossing the finish line!! You are an inspiration girl, keep going in His powerful love.
ReplyDeleteJust from reading your blogs my dear sister, your wind is still in your sail! You have so much to share and God has gifted you dearly. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
ReplyDeleteHi Shanda - you will get through this season in your life and God is right there with you every step of the way.
ReplyDeleteGod bless
Tracy
Hi Shanda,
ReplyDeletePrayers that your health will improve.Tiredness is so debillitating.
God Bless
Barb from Australia
Hi Shanda, You can put it all down to your thyroids! I've always been grateful, happy, full of joy, then wham, some years ago, suddenly, it felt like I had made ALL the wrong choices. I was always cranky, unhappy, quarrelled my mom (she did not know what hit her!), would cry at the slightest thing! Turned out I had a problem with my thyroids! My mom called it my midnight crisis! Anyway, it's God's way of making us think, turn a corner, make some changes. God bless you dear sister! For always inspiring us! Patsy from
ReplyDeleteHeARTworks
Your honesty about this season of your life is encouraging as it is so full of humility and truth. I can relate - every day is different - some I can attack with zest and enthusiasm and others just feel like an uphill struggle every step of the way. Be kind to yourself - you are amazing King's Daughter.
ReplyDeleteThere are times it takes more determination. I understand where you are. I try hard to work through the chronic pain to find the joy. Because the joy is there -- waiting. You are so faithful to bring us authentic truth. I thank you for that. I will be praying God will add His strength to yours. Pressing on, yes I want to keep the goal in sight.
ReplyDeletepressing on with you, sister... knowing he is walking beside us. how you encourage me, dear shanda. thank you.
ReplyDeleteShanda, I want to hid under the covers too. Way too often. I'm struggling to get back into a groove. Pressing on - for me pushing on all that wants to hold me back. Thanks for linking up today. :)
ReplyDeleteYour honestly is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThrough out all the changes in our lives, the grit of God is new every morning.
ReplyDeleteIt really is refreshing here that you get tired.I admire you for all of the work and service you do for Christ. There are days that I feel tired too and not as motivated to do the work I am assigned to do. I do think we need to rest; but not give up the cause of Christ.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you; I am tired and plan to take a nap today.
I hear you! I can totally relate to a lot of what you said here. My two oldest are grown and moving on. I love them tons but sometimes their choices are hard to respect.
ReplyDeleteSomedays it takes work to climb out of the covers in the morning. My bed just seems much more welcoming.
Thank goodness He is there with us the whole way. :)
May God give you the perseverance by His Holy Spirit to keep pressing on...
ReplyDeleteOh, when the wind gets knocked out of our sails...it is so hard...but press on, press on (like you said)-- it's the 23rd mile...you can do it!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorites is, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6. Even when I can't go on, He will fulfill His promise. Thanks for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteShanda, we have more in common than I thought! I'm 33, so not at 'that' age yet (I'm at a different 'that' age!). But I had my thyroid out due to thyroid cancer at 28. I am ALWAYS physically exhausted since then. Ironically, they have me on high doses of Synthroid to suppress my cancer, but instead of having hyperthyroid symptoms, it makes me exhausted instead. I feel your pain! You will be in my prayers...and thank you for faithfully stopping to offer yours on my blog. You are a dear one!
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